Sofia tells a man that she only knows by print to effectively go and fuck himself.
Ladies, gather round because I have got the answer to all of your problems. A miracle cure for the thoughts that plague us all as we walk down the street minding our own business. We’ve all been there, whether you’ve made accidental eye contact or maybe even had your head down reading; we see a stranger and think to ourselves; ‘do they think I’m pretty.’
We then rack our brains trying to come up with solutions to ensure that strangers do think we’re pretty but what can we do? You’d be forgiven for assuming that a stranger in the street didn’t even care if you look pretty, maybe they have more pressing matters of their own or have at least met a woman before. But no, some do and it’s vital that while you’re taking up valuable space on this earth with your delicate lady parts that you look good doing it. And the secret they’ve been keeping from us was printed in the Metro newspaper this very week.
SMILE. All we have to do is crack a fucking smile. Yes, breathe a collective sigh of relief – while you smile – because that was all we had to do. Thanks Vaporizing Guy, you’ve saved the day. Excuse me while I surgically insert a hanger in to mouth to avoid any confusion in the future. A lesser person would suggest that he’d be less of a creepy fuckwit if he wasn’t staring at strangers in train stations but I’m too busy smiling to make such a crazy implication.
So, moral of the story is; if you’re holding a coffee cup at the station, smile. Next time you put your coat on when leaving a café, smile. Next time you’re reading the paper on the tube, smile. Just smile, because regardless of what kind of day you’re having or what inane task you’re doing, you don’t ever want a stranger to think you don’t look pretty. You’re a female and you’re there to be enjoyed by strangers and nobody likes to displease strangers, am I right?
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